Week 5: Rollercoaster

Week 5 was a weird week. Not nearly as crazy as week 4, but full of ups and downs. It started off well. Monday might as well have been Girl Day. It seemed like our girl time lasted all day. We had our usual Bible study Monday morning before breakfast. It was all about being able to rest in the Lord and His grace, which was appropriate because we all had had such a tough week. It was interesting to consider how most people consider "getting away" for a little while as being true rest, but it usually is just post-poned burnout. The only true rest is in Christ. In Isaiah 40:31, it says "They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and ot faint." I used to always focus on the fact that they are doing, that they are constantly running or walking. But in Bible study I realized that the emphasis should not be on their constant action, but the fact that they are never weary because they are in a constant state of rest, so they can keep going.

Then we had from breakfast until lunch to spend time with God and rejuvinate. I didn't really get the time I wanted to for some reason. I felt really spiritually dry, and I didn't want to start off my week that way. Luckily, after lunch we had girl time, which was great. We played "hot seat," where everyone is in the "hot seat" for 2 and a half minutes which means they can be asked any question from anyone about anything. It's a fun way to get to know everyone. Some questions are funny, some are serious. Then we took a survey type thing anonymously about our sins. When we turned them in, they shuffled them and passed them back out. We went through the list and if yes was circled on the paper you got you raised your hand. It was a good way of seeing that other people struggle with the same things you do. Then we went into a time of confession and encouragement. Eventually we had to break for dinner, but the leadership realized that there was still more sharing to be done so we met again in the evening. I feel like that's when the real emotions came out, at least for me. Getting thing's off my chest has never felt so relieving. It not only made me feel so much better, it made the whole group of girls so much closer. Being able to share in each others' struggles and encourage was amazing.

Tuesday I still felt emotionally, spiritually, and physically drained from the week before. I felt like I did just not rest enough that weekend. I took some time to pray and process before the kids came, but I still felt sort of out of it. Once the day started going, things only went downhill. My co-counselor and I were having some difficulties leading as a team and then I started to get a migraine. Those of you who know me well know that I have migraine problems. I've been blessed to not have any for the 4 week before this, but it seems like it was just saving it up for Tuesday. I took some medicine and laid down for a bit, but it only got worse. I slept in the nurses station that night and woke up feeling terrible. I even threw up. Eventually half-way through Wednesday I was feeling good enough to function, but I felt like I'd missed so much it was hard to get back into the swing of things. Pretty much until Friday afternoon I felt spiritually disconnected and dry. It wasn't good for me, my campers, or my relationship with my co-counselor.

Then during our de-briefing session, God smacked me in the face and woke me up. Leeann shared some really awesome thoughts that inspired me and stirred in my heart the passion that had somehow disappeared during the week. One thing she said that really hit home was that our only job this summer is to be Jesus to these kids. How blessed am I that my only concern for the next two weeks is being Jesus to these kids!! Once school starts, I have so many obligations and roles to fill that it's a struggle sometimes to make sure I'm not neglected my call as Christian. But here... here I don't have to worry about that. My only goal is to be Jesus to my campers. The rollercoaster was heading back up the hill!

Friday night was really fun. We of course had to get Chipotle for dinner, but a few of us also wanted to check out this Blues Festival going on nearby. So we found the park.. but it turns out the park is huge.. so we ended up just parking and literally frolicking through a meadow at sunset. It was so fun just being goofy with friends.

Saturday went out to a nearby lake, Ceaser's Creek, and went jet-skiing and tubing and played on the beach. I only stayed for a few hours because I was going to go get dinner with my friend Caroline who lives in the area, but I started to feel really sick at the last minute. So it was good that I drove separately because I needed to get back to camp. I finally felt better by around 8:30, but I hadn't eaten dinner, so I started to head out of camp to grab some fast food when I ran into Tammi, who I didn't even realize was at camp. So she came with me and we had a good chat over our Burger King and Speedway slushies. Most of the crew was back from the lake when we got back from our late dinner. It was a beautiful night, so we all sat outside and talked and listened to the guitar being played and looked at the stars.

Saturday night before bed I also had some really good God time. God's really been blessing my reading of His word and really confirming that I have the spiritual gift of knowledge. It's so awesome that we have a God who talks to us through His word and how we can always find Him when we seek Him, just like He promised!

Today at Antioch, continuing with the series of "People Like Us With Problems Like Ours," Pastor Dave talked about Amaziah, who he admittedly had never really heard of until recently. Amaziah is really a sad story. He did what was pleasing to God, but he never did it wholeheartedly (like Caleb) so he soon fell away from God. He really challenged us to consider if we're doing things for God wholeheartedly and to find out what is in our way, which is usually pride or idolatry.

God really answered my prayers for passion and healing my spritual dryness that plagued me this past week. I felt very refreshed today and completely full of the joy of the Lord. Totally free of worries. I really felt today what it means to rest in Him, nearly a week after that Bible study that focused on that idea. I just started to study Acts and in Acts 3:19-20 it says "Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord..." It's a pretty simple formula. What do we do? Repent and turn. What will God do? Forget our sins and refresh us. I really like that it says in the ESV version "turn *again*" It's not just a one time event; it's a repeated process of repenting and turning back to God so we can be forgiven and refreshed.

Now I have to go move into my cabin for next week, Cabin 3, and go to worship! (which I'm sure will be amazing!)


In Christ,

Audrey